Blog Post

Silver Linings: Moments of Joy Amidst the Challenges

Nido Marketing • January 15, 2021

Growing up during a global pandemic is a challenge. For that matter, so is parenting and educating children during this time. How can we create an atmosphere of normal when our world is anything but?

Somehow, even with remote learning, safety precautions, separation from friends and family, and so much more, there are still glimmers of good. A global threat has somehow managed to connect us all while making our little worlds a bit smaller and a bit more cozy. We have been forced to slow down. Our perspectives have adjusted. And although we are still facing critical challenges, we can all agree that the moments of joy in between have been even sweeter.

After hearing from parents and teachers, we decided to share some of their words and the silver linings they have been experiencing. We would love to hear from you; please join the conversation and let us know how your family has found moments of joy throughout the past year.


Spending more time together as a family

Early last year it felt like the world came to a grinding halt. Like it or not, many of us suddenly found ourselves at home a whole lot more than we were used to. Schools turned to remote learning and offices had employees working from home. We all became well-versed in navigating zoom calls, simultaneously juggling parenting and working, finding a bit of grace when we couldn’t balance it all, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, we began to delight in the extra time together as a family.

Without commutes and social obligations, we have found ourselves gathering around the coffee table for board games. Family movie nights have been a regular occurrence, and who among us hasn’t stepped up their cooking and/or baking game?

Even as our schedules have slowly inched their way back toward some semblance of normality, the extra family time has remained a newly treasured value for many of us.

“Without after-school activities or weekend events, we have been more involved with each other and spending quality time together. Things that we may have done once a week and squeezed into busy schedules have become routine. Cooking as a family, game nights, Jenga before school, even raking leaves becomes a family project and a chance to be silly together. We have pulled in and around each other, becoming even better friends and companions as we realize how important it is to protect ourselves and our community. We have also come to treasure the family moments that we have with grandparents and cousins instead of taking their presence for granted as we did before.”

We have begun to more fully recognize the preciousness of our time together. We cannot control what happens in the larger world around us, but we can focus inward and relish in the beauty of spending more time with our children.

“I feel guilty saying this, with all of the loss and hardship that so much of the world has experienced due to the pandemic, but these days have been a truly wonderful time for us. We've never cared much for routines and schedules. What feels like uncertainty, boredom, and loss of structure to some, feels like a gift to us. A gift of freedom to chase whatever butterflies emerge from our imaginations. And, with fewer places to be, fewer people to meet, a gift of time to chase our butterflies as far as we want. We often wake up with ideas of things we want to create.”


The admirable resilience of our children

“In a world where grown-ups complain and refuse to do the right thing, I watched our child and others easily adapt to wearing masks and taking safety precautions. I try to see the world through her eyes and enjoy the simplicity of doing the right thing without complaint or issue.”

While we are not in any way diminishing the challenges our children have faced, it has been pretty amazing to watch how well they have coped overall. Some folks have been taken aback by just how well their kids have adjusted. Many of our children have stepped up and shown a level of independence and maturity that surprises us. Other parents have admired the ease in which they have adapted to regulations designed for keeping us all safe.

“The growth that came with adjusting to remote learning. I’ve watched my 8-year-old behave like a college student - figuring out and tracking assignments, joining zoom meetings and taking on time management in a way many adults aren’t able to. I’m so proud of her! The independence fostered through Montessori methods has really shone brightly during this dark time.”


Celebrating the silliness

For teachers, the children continue to be a source of inspiration and this sometimes shines through in delightfully unexpected ways. One Montessori guide shared how new disinfecting guidelines led one of her primary students to encourage her in the cutest way possible.

“We are cleaning, now more than ever before, in the classroom. The day is broken by random spurts of spraying and cleaning and hand washing and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning! One day the youngest member of our class watched me spraying down a desk and said, “You are doing a great job!” His innocent comment made me laugh and calmed me in my rush of cleaning.”

Getting Creative

For so many of us, more time at home has meant more time for creativity. As we mentioned earlier in the article, many families have taken to the kitchen. Some have created makeshift art studios. Some have created elaborate blanket forts or marble runs made out of toilet paper tubes taped to hallway walls.

Montessori often spoke about the need to give our children long periods of uninterrupted time so that they may delve deeply into areas of interest. While this is the basis for Montessori work periods, it has also found an unexpected application in our forced time at home. Our kids are showing us interests, talents, and skills that we may have never even known they had. It is amazing to watch their deep focus, and their joy in what they create.

“These days, we can make spy cases for all occasions (we now have the lady's handbag, art case, and toolbox models), with hidden compartments, handmade spy tools, and secret agent case files; fully engineered and illustrated card games and board games (that are actually fun to play!); and a hand-bound, hand-drawn nutshell library of original stories (a work in progress). One morning, I had an "epiphany," as Paloma likes to call it. I said to her, "I have an idea. It's just a small one." And with a knowing (and complicit) smile, she replied, "You don't have small ideas." She doesn't either. And the time we've been given means that we don't have to make our ideas smaller.”


None of us know exactly when this pandemic will end. We still face so many serious challenges of many types, and we must work hard to support and protect one another. But let us take just a bit of time to notice the good, for there is much of that as well.


Warm regards,

Candice Lin, Director

info@jordanmontessori.com


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In addition to this urge to rescue, we may also experience time constraints, diminishing patience, worry about how others will perceive the situation, doubts about our children’s capability, and even pushback from our children. It may seem faster to tie our children’s shoes or clean their messy room than to wait for them to do it themselves. We may worry that our children won’t meet expectations with a school project or that teachers, other parents, or extended family members will judge the results if we don’t help. Or maybe we aren’t sure that our children will make the “right” decision or if our children are mature or skilled enough to handle a situation. We may even feel guilty about allowing our children to face the natural consequences of their actions, even though it’s a necessary part of learning. The Value All problems have owners. Being thoughtful about who owns the problem helps create a clear boundary between guiding our children and taking over their challenges, which is crucial for raising independent, confident, and capable individuals. If we take the time to think ahead about specific (and even recurring) situations, we can be prepared to empower our children to take ownership of the challenges they face, rather than automatically intervening. It’s also important to remember that if we regularly take ownership of our children’s problems, we are inadvertently teaching our children that they are not capable. The result? Our children grow more needy and dependent on (and sometimes even more demanding of) adults. If our children own the problem, we can let them handle the problem and provide support as necessary. This is a growth opportunity for us and our children! Steps to Take The next time our children express frustration or emotion in response to a problem they own, we can try a simple, three-step response. Tell them what we see When our children approach us, consider using detective skills to determine what emotion is at play. “It looks like you don’t know what to do right now,” or “It looks like you are disappointed,” or “It looks like you are feeling sad.” This simple first step provides acknowledgment and helps children accept that their feelings are normal and acceptable. For younger children, this also helps them learn to identify different emotions. In addition to validating our children’s feelings, active listening shows empathy and helps us avoid jumping to solutions. For example, if the upset is about an interaction with a friend, we can try saying something like, “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more about what happened." Ask them what they can do Next, we can act as a coach rather than trying to provide solutions. This requires listening closely to determine the root cause of their problem and helping them come up with a solution (without doing it for them). For example, if facing the “I’m bored” statement, we can ask questions, “What do you think you could do on your own so that you would feel busy?” Even if they respond by saying, “I don’t know,” we can continue to focus on their ability to think through possibilities. Sometimes, even just replying with something like, “make believe you know,” grants them permission to use their imagination. Additional types of questions to have mentally prepared can include: “What do you think you could do to fix this?” “How do you think _____ might react if you explain?” “What’s the first step you could take?” Offer to help if appropriate Once our children have come up with a solution to their problem, we can offer to help without taking over and implementing the solution for them. Sometimes our children might need support with generating ideas. It’s okay to brainstorm together, which is different than trying to come up with solutions for them. If we do offer brainstorming support, it’s important to let our children choose the best course of action. For example, if the problem revolves around forgetting to bring something to school, we can help with some scaffolding, “Let’s think of ways you have remembered to bring your instrument for band. What’s one technique you’ve used before that worked well?” We can also offer support by providing access to tools or resources. For example, if the struggle involves organization, we can offer to provide a calendar or checklist and teach our children how to use this tool rather than organizing their assignments or chores for them. Role-playing can also sometimes help children practice the solution they’ve identified. Ultimately, we want to set clear exceptions by letting our children know what is expected and giving them the responsibility to follow through. Asking what their plan is is a great way to shift the focus to their ability to solve the problem. The best part is that the more often we allow our children to solve their own problems, the more capable they become. Are you curious to learn more about supporting children’s emerging sense of responsibility? Come visit our school!
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