Practical Life for the Holidays

Nido Marketing • November 15, 2021

The holiday season is nearly upon us, and no matter how you celebrate, this time of year is often steeped in family traditions. The foods, smells, decorations, songs, and gifts echo in our memories for a lifetime. As a parent, it can be magical to experience the holidays through your child’s eyes; everything is so exciting and full of wonder.

Many families involve their children in preparing for special days and celebrations. By doing so, you may already be engaging in what Montessori refers to as practical life , or the teaching and practicing of skills that a person will use to get by in their everyday lives as an adult. Practical life covers a wide range of skills, but this time of year is ripe with opportunities — and not just for the preschool crowd. Check out our ideas below!

Caring for the Self

As with everything, it’s important to consider where your child is developmentally, what their interests are, and set your expectations accordingly.

Choosing what to wear

Special occasions call for special outfits. It can be fun for parents to pick out adorable clothing for their small children, but it’s also nice to involve kids in the process so that they are able to share in the fun and develop a sense that their opinion is important. Younger children (toddlers, preschool-aged) might benefit from being able to select from two or three choices that you have found ahead of time.

Older children enjoy (and deserve) to be more involved in selecting their own clothing. It can help to talk about what you’re looking for ahead of time and what your expectations are. If a family occasion calls for something more dressy than jeans, let your child know. Remember that choice is important, but so are limits. Be open-minded (this can be even more challenging when your teenagers are developing their sense of self through style), but it’s okay to let your child know that you have the right to veto an outfit. Ultimately, it all comes down to finding something you can both appreciate and that is appropriate for the occasion.

Practicing hygiene

There are two main opportunities in this category this time of year: practicing hygiene in social situations and taking advantage of extra time at home together to teach new skills

When it comes to actions like using a napkin to wipe ones’ face at the dinner table, toddlers will find this new concept fun and exciting, but even your elementary-aged child may need some reminders and practice. Although your children are likely experts on the following by now, it doesn’t hurt to remind them what to do when they need to cough, sneeze, or blow their nose around others.

Enjoying some vacation time and days around the house together? What better time to teach your three-year-old how to brush her hair, your five-year-old to floss, or give your twelve-year-old a crash course on skin care?

Food preparation

This item on our list may just be the most fun.

Many families have traditional recipes they share for special holidays. What are yours? Could you teach your child how to make Grandma’s jelly-filled cookies? Your famous vegetable side dish? That roast everyone looks forward to enjoying once a year?

Regardless of what you’re making in the kitchen, there’s a way for pretty much everyone to get involved. Whether it’s simple slicing or complicated multi-step directions that need to be followed, it’s great to teach children how to make their own food. It’s extra special when you’re sharing memories and creating new ones.

Budgeting

This is a special section just for the teens in your life. They may be at an age when they would like to start participating more in gift-giving. Enter: budgeting lessons. Whether you give them a certain amount to spend or they have their own money (saved or earned from a part-time job), many of us wish we had gotten financial lessons when we were younger.

What does your teen already understand about money? What do they still need to learn?


Caring for the Environment

Caring for ourselves is important, but so is taking care of the space we live and exist in. The skills in this section focus on the home and beyond.

Cleaning

It seems like cleaning tasks tend to increase this time of year. There is cleaning to be done ahead of time, maintenance cleaning should you be expecting visitors, and cleaning once the season is over and everything needs to be put away.

It’s never-ending!

Hand your toddler a dustpan, teach your third grader to load the dishwasher, and remind your adolescent how to properly sort the laundry.

Outdoor work

Some people need to start shoveling snow this time of year, while others are still gardening. Depending on where you live, the jobs are different, but there are almost always tasks to be taken care of outside of your home.

If your children are still young, kid-sized tools can help. Smaller rakes, shovels, and the like aren’t too hard to find, and they can make all the difference. Our children want to participate in family tasks; finding ways to let them help increases their confidence, teaches them valuable skills, and lets them know that all family members are important and can/should contribute.


Grace and Courtesy

The way we interact with others on a social level is an important set of skills that we carry with us throughout our lives. Kids pick up a lot on their own and just by playing with one another, but some bits need to be taught. This is a great time of year to talk about, model, and practice grace and courtesy.

Interacting with relatives

Does your son need to hug his aunt? Not if he doesn’t want to. Does he need to say hello and learn how to have a polite conversation (even if it’s short and sweet)? Definitely.

When our students enter our building, their teachers greet them at the door in the morning with a smile and a hello. They look one another in the eye, and our staff teaches children what they expect in return. Manners matter; showing other people basic respect is the foundation for positive human interaction. Too often children are excused from pleasantries, but we believe the opposite should be true. Let’s teach them while they’re young!

Before celebrating holidays with family members, talk to your child about what you expect. Role-play together so they have a chance to practice ahead of time. If, in the moment, they don’t quite get it right, don’t fret. There’s always next time.

Giving gifts

Gift giving is not synonymous with spending money. It’s about showing the people we love that we care about them. It can be making something special by hand or spending quality time together.

If your family exchanges gifts this time of year, talk to your child about how they might like to contribute. It’s also nice to consider giving charitable gifts - what are some ways your family might work together to support folks or organizations in your community this time of year?

Showing gratitude

Expressing our thanks is a win-win. We let others know that we notice and appreciate them, but it also feels good to be grateful. Consider some ways you would like your child to show gratitude and lead by examples. This may be as simple as saying the words aloud and with conviction, or you might teach them how to write a nice thank you letter to drop in the mail.


Movement with Purpose

The way we move through the world is one last set of practical life skills that are taught in Montessori schools. Traditionally this work would be left to the primary classroom, but our suggestions extend to the years beyond.

Decorating the home

While this doesn’t apply to everyone, many families have old or fragile holiday decorations, with some having been passed down for generations.

Let your child know how precious special items are, and how they need to be handled and cared for. Then, as you are comfortable, let your child participate in decorating with these items. There is always a risk that something may break, so start small!

Dancing

This final point is just for the fun of it. Moving our bodies feels good and moving our bodies joyfully to music feels great.

So crank up some tunes and have a fun dance-fest around the living room with your kids! You’ll all be glad you did.

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Whether we embrace math or not, humans have a tendency to think in patterns, quantify, and make logical connections. Some even say we have a mathematical mind! Young children also have this innate ability and inclination, so in Montessori, we take advantage of this propensity for mathematical thinking and offer learning experiences that provide an in-depth understanding of math even at a young age. Organized into six general groups, the mathematical exercises in the Children’s House span from a foundational understanding of the numbers one to ten, to working with very large numbers and place value within our decimal system, to internalizing number facts, and even early work with fractions! Numbers 1 to 10 Although learning the numbers 1 to 10 sounds simple, it actually involves the integration of several distinct concepts. The beauty of the Montessori materials is that they isolate each separate concept so that children’s understanding grows in progressive steps. This first group of exercises in the Children’s House aims to teach the names, symbols, quantities, and sequence for the numbers 1 through 10. The youngest children first use the number rods, which are color-coded with alternating red and blue sections to designate the quantities of one through ten. As children work with the number rods, they solidify the concept of quantity as a single entity while also practicing one-to-one correspondence. The sandpaper numbers help children learn the symbolic representation of numbers. After children master the sandpaper numbers and can easily identify numerals, we help them connect the number cards with the corresponding number rods. Additional materials–like the spindle boxes, cards and counters, and the memory game–help children progress from understanding quantity as a single entity to grasping how quantity can be a set. Throughout this progression, we offer experiential exercises to help children learn the concepts of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. At this stage, we don’t provide the vocabulary but rather give an impression of the concept of each operation. The Decimal System Once children have mastered the numbers 1 to 10 activities, they are ready to begin exercises with the golden beads. Because there are never more than nine in a given place value, and children already know the quantities and the symbols, they are ready to learn the hierarchy of units, tens, hundreds, and thousands. As children set up the golden beads, the primary decimal system materials, they learn how to think through the process of each operation and the concepts of calculation. Are they putting quantities together or taking them apart and recounting the categories? The decimal system work gives children knowledge of the mathematical processes and solidifies their understanding of the mechanics of the decimal system. We focus on helping children understand the process of each operation. We aren’t looking for the right answer. We want the child to understand the operations and what adding, multiplying, dividing, or subtracting means. After children understand the operations with the golden beads, we offer other materials, such as the stamp game and dot game, to help them move away from a very concrete toward a more symbolic representation of the quantities. We offer word problems at the end of this series, which help verify whether children understand each operation's process. Continuation of Counting Through this group of exercises, children learn the name, symbol, and quantity of the numbers from 11 to 100, and consolidate linear counting up to 1,000. The work starts with the teen boards (11 through 19) and tens boards (20 to 100). We also introduce the colored bead stair, which gives a color-coded sensorial representation for quantities of one through ten, a pattern replicated throughout the Montessori math materials. With the golden beads, children experience the difference between 100 and 1,000, by weight and geometrical representation. In continuation of counting, children lay out the bead chains and see the dramatic linear difference between 100 and 1,000. Children also use the bead chains to practice skip counting, which lays the foundation for further studies in multiplication. We also make sure there is lots of counting in the classroom! Children can be taught to count by rote, but mental maturity helps them take the leap from rote counting to understanding quantities represented by numbers. Exploration and Memorization of the Tables Through a variety of materials–the addition strip board, addition snake game, subtraction strip board, subtraction snake game, multiplication bead board, bead bars, and unit division board–children have lots and lots of practice with the essential math facts. This concrete exploration establishes a visual understanding of what something like 5 x 6 looks like and helps children establish early neural pathways for memorizing these math facts. After children use different forms of bead material to practice, they move into more abstract representations of quantity and eventually even use blank charts to test their memory. All of the repetition in this exploration phase leads to memorization as children become aware of which combinations they know and which they don’t know. Eventually, after a lot of practice and repetition, children realize that it is faster to do the calculations mentally rather than with the materials. 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We invite you to come see children’s mathematical minds in action. Schedule a tour today!
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Most of us have had the experience of a child walking into the room and proclaiming, with exasperation and desperation, “I’m bored!” Without even thinking, we begin to offer suggestions. Despite our best intentions, this situation tends to not end well. Our brilliant ideas are often quickly refuted. We feel frustrated. Our children haven’t engaged. And we’ve missed an opportunity to help our children take responsibility. What Does it Mean to “Own the Problem”? It helps to think proactively about how to respond when our children face problems, choices, or situations. These aren’t necessarily the big issues, but rather daily moments that can help our children learn important coping skills that will be crucial in their lives. At its core, figuring out who owns the problem is about determining whether we or our children are the ones who are primarily responsible for addressing an issue. For example, when our children forget to bring something to school (a coat, gym shoes, snack, etc.), it’s their problem to own and solve because they are directly impacted. Plus, they are also capable of problem-solving (e.g. borrowing a coat, talking to their teacher, asking if there is any food they can have for a snack). Owning the problem helps children take more responsibility and learn from their mistakes. Whereas, if we rush to their rescue and bring anything that was left at home, our children learn that remembering to bring essential items isn’t really important because we take care of covering for them. The Challenges However, watching our children struggle can be heart-wrenching. We don’t like to see our children upset, in pain, or even frustrated. Often, without even thinking, we jump in and try to protect our children from whatever problem, conflict, or challenge they are experiencing. In addition to this urge to rescue, we may also experience time constraints, diminishing patience, worry about how others will perceive the situation, doubts about our children’s capability, and even pushback from our children. It may seem faster to tie our children’s shoes or clean their messy room than to wait for them to do it themselves. We may worry that our children won’t meet expectations with a school project or that teachers, other parents, or extended family members will judge the results if we don’t help. Or maybe we aren’t sure that our children will make the “right” decision or if our children are mature or skilled enough to handle a situation. We may even feel guilty about allowing our children to face the natural consequences of their actions, even though it’s a necessary part of learning. The Value All problems have owners. Being thoughtful about who owns the problem helps create a clear boundary between guiding our children and taking over their challenges, which is crucial for raising independent, confident, and capable individuals. If we take the time to think ahead about specific (and even recurring) situations, we can be prepared to empower our children to take ownership of the challenges they face, rather than automatically intervening. It’s also important to remember that if we regularly take ownership of our children’s problems, we are inadvertently teaching our children that they are not capable. The result? Our children grow more needy and dependent on (and sometimes even more demanding of) adults. If our children own the problem, we can let them handle the problem and provide support as necessary. This is a growth opportunity for us and our children! Steps to Take The next time our children express frustration or emotion in response to a problem they own, we can try a simple, three-step response. Tell them what we see When our children approach us, consider using detective skills to determine what emotion is at play. “It looks like you don’t know what to do right now,” or “It looks like you are disappointed,” or “It looks like you are feeling sad.” This simple first step provides acknowledgment and helps children accept that their feelings are normal and acceptable. For younger children, this also helps them learn to identify different emotions. In addition to validating our children’s feelings, active listening shows empathy and helps us avoid jumping to solutions. For example, if the upset is about an interaction with a friend, we can try saying something like, “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more about what happened." Ask them what they can do Next, we can act as a coach rather than trying to provide solutions. This requires listening closely to determine the root cause of their problem and helping them come up with a solution (without doing it for them). For example, if facing the “I’m bored” statement, we can ask questions, “What do you think you could do on your own so that you would feel busy?” Even if they respond by saying, “I don’t know,” we can continue to focus on their ability to think through possibilities. Sometimes, even just replying with something like, “make believe you know,” grants them permission to use their imagination. Additional types of questions to have mentally prepared can include: “What do you think you could do to fix this?” “How do you think _____ might react if you explain?” “What’s the first step you could take?” Offer to help if appropriate Once our children have come up with a solution to their problem, we can offer to help without taking over and implementing the solution for them. Sometimes our children might need support with generating ideas. It’s okay to brainstorm together, which is different than trying to come up with solutions for them. If we do offer brainstorming support, it’s important to let our children choose the best course of action. For example, if the problem revolves around forgetting to bring something to school, we can help with some scaffolding, “Let’s think of ways you have remembered to bring your instrument for band. What’s one technique you’ve used before that worked well?” We can also offer support by providing access to tools or resources. For example, if the struggle involves organization, we can offer to provide a calendar or checklist and teach our children how to use this tool rather than organizing their assignments or chores for them. Role-playing can also sometimes help children practice the solution they’ve identified. Ultimately, we want to set clear exceptions by letting our children know what is expected and giving them the responsibility to follow through. Asking what their plan is is a great way to shift the focus to their ability to solve the problem. The best part is that the more often we allow our children to solve their own problems, the more capable they become. Are you curious to learn more about supporting children’s emerging sense of responsibility? Come visit our school!
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