Blog Post

Montessori Basics: Following the Child

Nido Marketing • November 10, 2020

“When a child is given a little leeway, he will at once shout, ’I want to do it!’ But in our schools, which have an environment adapted to children’s needs, they say, ‘Help me to do it alone.’” -Maria Montessori in The Secret of Childhood

Montessorians are often heard saying, “Follow the child.” It’s a statement that guides us each day and drives our work in very particular ways. We believe the child has innate qualities that lead them to learning, and it is our job to prepare the path and then get out of the way.

Following the child is applicable to every environment in the child’s life, including home, school, and elsewhere. Dr. Maria Montessori spoke often about this very topic, and there are practical ways we apply her ideas even today.


Pause, and resist interruptions

“Praise, help, or even a look, may be enough to interrupt him, or destroy the activity…. The great principle which brings success to the teacher is this: as soon as concentration has begun, act as if the child does not exist.” -Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind

As adults we tend to feel obligated to frequently engage with the children in our lives. We sometimes feel duty-bound to dispense our knowledge, to verbally guide, and to provide frequent feedback. This is usually a result of our own upbringing and education, but that doesn’t make it the ideal approach.

The most important thing we can do when approaching a child is to pause. Is the child focused? Already engaged? Enjoying their work? If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions, it may be best not to interfere. When a child is concentrating, they are not seeking out approval or direction. Even if they are not engaging in an activity in the way we had envisioned, as long as they are being safe and careful with a material, they may be getting something out of the experience that we had not anticipated.

Pause.

And when they are done, they aren’t looking for our feedback. We don’t need to praise. If you would like to acknowledge, make note of what you noticed. Comment on the action, not your judgement of it. “I noticed you were very focused on that. How did it make you feel?” is a much better approach than, “Great job!”


Trust the child’s internal drive

“The child looks for his independence first, not because he does not desire to be dependent on the adult. But because he has in himself some fire, some urge, to do certain things and not other things.” -Maria Montessori in The Theosophist

As we mentioned above, our children do not inherently seek out external praise, or any type of rewards for that matter. When we give empty praise or prizes, we teach children to do their work to meet the approval of others. When we trust that they want to learn for the sake of learning, and for the sheer joy of the experience, that is exactly what happens.

Sometimes, when our children are young, they show signs of independence that we may miss. When they want to help you mop the floor, slow down and give them a chance to try. We know it can be hard with busy schedules and lots to do, but these tiny moments will encourage independence in the long run. Our children want to work. They want to do things for themselves. They just need us to let them.

Acknowledge the value of the environment

“Children acquire knowledge through experience in the environment.” -Maria Montessori in The 1946 London Lectures

"Now the adult himself is part of the child's environment; the adult must adjust himself to the child's needs if he is not to be a hindrance to him and if he is not to substitute himself for the child in the activities essential to growth and development." -Maria Montessori in The Secret of Childhood

The environment is perhaps the greatest possible teacher a child can have. The spaces that surround them have the ability to provide rich, meaningful experiences...or not. As the adults, we are a part of that environment, and it is our task to serve as an aid on their journey, not to take the leading role.

Montessori guides spend hours on a regular basis analyzing the effectiveness of their classroom environments. If children have not been using a particular material for a length of time, it is put away and a new one takes its place. If the furniture is not conducive to an ideal flow, it is rearranged. If children seem to prefer sitting on the floor, the guide ensures adequate space is available.

The same can be done in the home. As the adults, we can make sure our environment serves the needs of the child. Keeping a stool in the kitchen can remove barriers to children preparing their own snacks. Hanging a low hook by the front door can facilitate independence in hanging one’s own coat. Watch your child, and if you see a need, you might ask yourself how the environment might be adjusted to meet that need.


Observe and prepare

The child whose attention has once been held by a chosen object, while he concentrates his whole self on the repetition of the exercise, is a delivered soul in the sense of the spiritual safety of which we speak. From this moment there is no need to worry about him - except to prepare an environment which satisfies his needs, and to remove obstacles which may bar his way to perfection." -Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind

“The teacher, when she begins work in our schools, must have a kind of faith that the child will reveal himself through work.” -Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind

Dr. Montessori was a scientist; she observed as a scientist and she created her methods based on those observations. Her work gave us the materials and lessons to serve as our base, but we must continue the work of observation in order to fully meet the needs of the children.

As guides, we intentionally carve out time in our classrooms to observe the children. What works are they drawn to and which do they leave behind? Does a child appear bored, focused, or confused? Is there a need that is not being met that we can somehow meet in a new way?

And it’s not just academics that must be observed. Even children’s behaviors and social interactions are a product of their environment. So we watch, we listen, and we do our best to draw conclusions without judgement. Then, we use this information to make changes.

Parents can do the same at home. Is your child not playing with a certain toy anymore? Put it away in a closet and set out a different one. Are they forgetting to make their bed in the morning? Find a way to work it into their routine or put a sticky note on the wall to help them remember. Are your children constantly jumping on the couch? Find an alternative to meet that physical need.


We hope this article has been helpful and inspiring. We have so much to learn from our children. Enjoy the journey.


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Whether we embrace math or not, humans have a tendency to think in patterns, quantify, and make logical connections. Some even say we have a mathematical mind! Young children also have this innate ability and inclination, so in Montessori, we take advantage of this propensity for mathematical thinking and offer learning experiences that provide an in-depth understanding of math even at a young age. Organized into six general groups, the mathematical exercises in the Children’s House span from a foundational understanding of the numbers one to ten, to working with very large numbers and place value within our decimal system, to internalizing number facts, and even early work with fractions! Numbers 1 to 10 Although learning the numbers 1 to 10 sounds simple, it actually involves the integration of several distinct concepts. The beauty of the Montessori materials is that they isolate each separate concept so that children’s understanding grows in progressive steps. This first group of exercises in the Children’s House aims to teach the names, symbols, quantities, and sequence for the numbers 1 through 10. The youngest children first use the number rods, which are color-coded with alternating red and blue sections to designate the quantities of one through ten. As children work with the number rods, they solidify the concept of quantity as a single entity while also practicing one-to-one correspondence. The sandpaper numbers help children learn the symbolic representation of numbers. After children master the sandpaper numbers and can easily identify numerals, we help them connect the number cards with the corresponding number rods. Additional materials–like the spindle boxes, cards and counters, and the memory game–help children progress from understanding quantity as a single entity to grasping how quantity can be a set. Throughout this progression, we offer experiential exercises to help children learn the concepts of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. At this stage, we don’t provide the vocabulary but rather give an impression of the concept of each operation. The Decimal System Once children have mastered the numbers 1 to 10 activities, they are ready to begin exercises with the golden beads. Because there are never more than nine in a given place value, and children already know the quantities and the symbols, they are ready to learn the hierarchy of units, tens, hundreds, and thousands. As children set up the golden beads, the primary decimal system materials, they learn how to think through the process of each operation and the concepts of calculation. Are they putting quantities together or taking them apart and recounting the categories? The decimal system work gives children knowledge of the mathematical processes and solidifies their understanding of the mechanics of the decimal system. We focus on helping children understand the process of each operation. We aren’t looking for the right answer. We want the child to understand the operations and what adding, multiplying, dividing, or subtracting means. After children understand the operations with the golden beads, we offer other materials, such as the stamp game and dot game, to help them move away from a very concrete toward a more symbolic representation of the quantities. We offer word problems at the end of this series, which help verify whether children understand each operation's process. Continuation of Counting Through this group of exercises, children learn the name, symbol, and quantity of the numbers from 11 to 100, and consolidate linear counting up to 1,000. The work starts with the teen boards (11 through 19) and tens boards (20 to 100). We also introduce the colored bead stair, which gives a color-coded sensorial representation for quantities of one through ten, a pattern replicated throughout the Montessori math materials. With the golden beads, children experience the difference between 100 and 1,000, by weight and geometrical representation. In continuation of counting, children lay out the bead chains and see the dramatic linear difference between 100 and 1,000. Children also use the bead chains to practice skip counting, which lays the foundation for further studies in multiplication. We also make sure there is lots of counting in the classroom! Children can be taught to count by rote, but mental maturity helps them take the leap from rote counting to understanding quantities represented by numbers. 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We invite you to come see children’s mathematical minds in action. Schedule a tour today!
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Most of us have had the experience of a child walking into the room and proclaiming, with exasperation and desperation, “I’m bored!” Without even thinking, we begin to offer suggestions. Despite our best intentions, this situation tends to not end well. Our brilliant ideas are often quickly refuted. We feel frustrated. Our children haven’t engaged. And we’ve missed an opportunity to help our children take responsibility. What Does it Mean to “Own the Problem”? It helps to think proactively about how to respond when our children face problems, choices, or situations. These aren’t necessarily the big issues, but rather daily moments that can help our children learn important coping skills that will be crucial in their lives. At its core, figuring out who owns the problem is about determining whether we or our children are the ones who are primarily responsible for addressing an issue. For example, when our children forget to bring something to school (a coat, gym shoes, snack, etc.), it’s their problem to own and solve because they are directly impacted. Plus, they are also capable of problem-solving (e.g. borrowing a coat, talking to their teacher, asking if there is any food they can have for a snack). Owning the problem helps children take more responsibility and learn from their mistakes. Whereas, if we rush to their rescue and bring anything that was left at home, our children learn that remembering to bring essential items isn’t really important because we take care of covering for them. The Challenges However, watching our children struggle can be heart-wrenching. We don’t like to see our children upset, in pain, or even frustrated. Often, without even thinking, we jump in and try to protect our children from whatever problem, conflict, or challenge they are experiencing. In addition to this urge to rescue, we may also experience time constraints, diminishing patience, worry about how others will perceive the situation, doubts about our children’s capability, and even pushback from our children. It may seem faster to tie our children’s shoes or clean their messy room than to wait for them to do it themselves. We may worry that our children won’t meet expectations with a school project or that teachers, other parents, or extended family members will judge the results if we don’t help. Or maybe we aren’t sure that our children will make the “right” decision or if our children are mature or skilled enough to handle a situation. We may even feel guilty about allowing our children to face the natural consequences of their actions, even though it’s a necessary part of learning. The Value All problems have owners. Being thoughtful about who owns the problem helps create a clear boundary between guiding our children and taking over their challenges, which is crucial for raising independent, confident, and capable individuals. If we take the time to think ahead about specific (and even recurring) situations, we can be prepared to empower our children to take ownership of the challenges they face, rather than automatically intervening. It’s also important to remember that if we regularly take ownership of our children’s problems, we are inadvertently teaching our children that they are not capable. The result? Our children grow more needy and dependent on (and sometimes even more demanding of) adults. If our children own the problem, we can let them handle the problem and provide support as necessary. This is a growth opportunity for us and our children! Steps to Take The next time our children express frustration or emotion in response to a problem they own, we can try a simple, three-step response. Tell them what we see When our children approach us, consider using detective skills to determine what emotion is at play. “It looks like you don’t know what to do right now,” or “It looks like you are disappointed,” or “It looks like you are feeling sad.” This simple first step provides acknowledgment and helps children accept that their feelings are normal and acceptable. For younger children, this also helps them learn to identify different emotions. In addition to validating our children’s feelings, active listening shows empathy and helps us avoid jumping to solutions. For example, if the upset is about an interaction with a friend, we can try saying something like, “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more about what happened." Ask them what they can do Next, we can act as a coach rather than trying to provide solutions. This requires listening closely to determine the root cause of their problem and helping them come up with a solution (without doing it for them). For example, if facing the “I’m bored” statement, we can ask questions, “What do you think you could do on your own so that you would feel busy?” Even if they respond by saying, “I don’t know,” we can continue to focus on their ability to think through possibilities. Sometimes, even just replying with something like, “make believe you know,” grants them permission to use their imagination. Additional types of questions to have mentally prepared can include: “What do you think you could do to fix this?” “How do you think _____ might react if you explain?” “What’s the first step you could take?” Offer to help if appropriate Once our children have come up with a solution to their problem, we can offer to help without taking over and implementing the solution for them. Sometimes our children might need support with generating ideas. It’s okay to brainstorm together, which is different than trying to come up with solutions for them. If we do offer brainstorming support, it’s important to let our children choose the best course of action. For example, if the problem revolves around forgetting to bring something to school, we can help with some scaffolding, “Let’s think of ways you have remembered to bring your instrument for band. What’s one technique you’ve used before that worked well?” We can also offer support by providing access to tools or resources. For example, if the struggle involves organization, we can offer to provide a calendar or checklist and teach our children how to use this tool rather than organizing their assignments or chores for them. Role-playing can also sometimes help children practice the solution they’ve identified. Ultimately, we want to set clear exceptions by letting our children know what is expected and giving them the responsibility to follow through. Asking what their plan is is a great way to shift the focus to their ability to solve the problem. The best part is that the more often we allow our children to solve their own problems, the more capable they become. Are you curious to learn more about supporting children’s emerging sense of responsibility? Come visit our school!
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