Blog Post

Our Montessori Dictionary

LakeCreek Montessori School • December 3, 2024

We recognize that Montessori education can have some lingo that might need a little explanation. So in this Montessori Dictionary post, we’re going to focus on a few terms (some familiar, some perhaps not so familiar) that apply to both the early childhood years and beyond. 


When possible, we’ve included some quotes from Dr. Maria Montessori and we encourage you to take a look at her work. Dr. Montessori was a woman well before her time and her books, such as From Childhood to Adolescence and To Educate the Human Potential, can be a source of insight and inspiration!


Grace and Courtesy


Grace and courtesy is an essential aspect of Montessori environments and supports children as they develop social relationships. Grace is how we move through the space around us, and courtesy is how we treat each other. 


In the Montessori primary classroom, grace and courtesy is considered one of the areas of practical life. For example, adults give lessons on how to interrupt, how to accept an offering, how to offer help, or how to introduce oneself. These lessons are offered in small groups and the technique used is role-playing. Little social scenarios are acted out and provide a model for behavior that is situational. Like all other learning activities, grace and courtesy lessons are practiced and repeated. They provide a respectful way of learning expectations and aiding social skills before they are needed.


Grace and courtesy is never offered as a form of punishment or correction. We make sure children don’t experience embarrassment by being corrected by adults on the spot, as this makes children feel disrespected and not safe. Dr. Montessori reminds us of this in The Secret of Childhood: “I have come to appreciate the fact that children have a deep sense of personal dignity. Adults, as a rule, have no concept of how easily they are wounded and oppressed.” In time, if we offer these grace and courtesy lessons, and give children a safe place to practice, children will eventually perform these skills independently. 


Human Tendencies


Human tendencies are unconscious, universal drives that support our adaptation to our particular time and place. All humans are born with innate needs and drives and are wired to adapt to their environment. The human tendencies – to orient, explore, order, abstract, imagine, calculate, work, be exact and repeat, perfect oneself, and communicate and associate with others – help aid this adaptation.  


Dr. Montessori alluded to human tendencies when she wrote about the inner drive she observed in children and how this drive helps individuals construct themselves to develop into maturity: “Their behavior led us to become aware of a fundamental truth, namely that the child works for his own inner development and not to reach an exterior aim and that when he has done this work he has not really developed a special ability but he has developed something in himself.” 


Prepared Environment


The Montessori environment is carefully prepared so that children can satisfy their human tendencies and thus develop to their fullest potential. The prepared environment takes into consideration what children need at their particular stage of growth, and as individuals on their own trajectory of development. The prepared environment consists of the physical and psychic aspects of the environment, of which the adult is a key part. 


Through interactions in a prepared environment, children can construct who they are as human beings. As they go through this process of self-construction in their environment, children learn, grow, adapt, and create. The prepared environment is part of the triad of the child, the environment, and the adult, all of which are interconnected components. 


Sensitive Periods/Sensitivities


Dr. Montessori was first and foremost a scientist and she was interested in what was happening prior to observable signs of human development. She was curious about what was going on in the mind before the skill manifested itself. For example, she wanted to know what was happening during the many months prior to children speaking their first word. 


Without the high-tech tools that neuropsychologists and psychologists now have to measure brain activity, Dr. Montessori had to rely upon observation. She watched children, took notes, and made charts about what they did. As a result, she discovered that a particular object or aspect of the environment would have an irresistible draw for children. This attraction would last for some time. Children would keep going back to the same activity or element of the environment and would be continually drawn to it. Then the day would come when it held no more interest and something new would be attractive. 


Dr. Montessori observed this phenomenon over and over again, which led her to believe that there must be something innate in children that was driving this interest. Building upon the work of biologists, Dr. Montessori adopted the term, sensitive period, to describe transitory periods of psychic development. Beyond the Montessori world, sensitive periods are now referred to as critical periods or windows of opportunity. 



What does a school look like that focuses first on grace and courtesy, human tendencies, a prepared environment, and sensitive periods? Schedule a tour to see for yourself!


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We also introduce the colored bead stair, which gives a color-coded sensorial representation for quantities of one through ten, a pattern replicated throughout the Montessori math materials. With the golden beads, children experience the difference between 100 and 1,000, by weight and geometrical representation. In continuation of counting, children lay out the bead chains and see the dramatic linear difference between 100 and 1,000. Children also use the bead chains to practice skip counting, which lays the foundation for further studies in multiplication. We also make sure there is lots of counting in the classroom! Children can be taught to count by rote, but mental maturity helps them take the leap from rote counting to understanding quantities represented by numbers. Exploration and Memorization of the Tables Through a variety of materials–the addition strip board, addition snake game, subtraction strip board, subtraction snake game, multiplication bead board, bead bars, and unit division board–children have lots and lots of practice with the essential math facts. This concrete exploration establishes a visual understanding of what something like 5 x 6 looks like and helps children establish early neural pathways for memorizing these math facts. After children use different forms of bead material to practice, they move into more abstract representations of quantity and eventually even use blank charts to test their memory. All of the repetition in this exploration phase leads to memorization as children become aware of which combinations they know and which they don’t know. Eventually, after a lot of practice and repetition, children realize that it is faster to do the calculations mentally rather than with the materials. 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Most of us have had the experience of a child walking into the room and proclaiming, with exasperation and desperation, “I’m bored!” Without even thinking, we begin to offer suggestions. Despite our best intentions, this situation tends to not end well. Our brilliant ideas are often quickly refuted. We feel frustrated. Our children haven’t engaged. And we’ve missed an opportunity to help our children take responsibility. What Does it Mean to “Own the Problem”? It helps to think proactively about how to respond when our children face problems, choices, or situations. These aren’t necessarily the big issues, but rather daily moments that can help our children learn important coping skills that will be crucial in their lives. At its core, figuring out who owns the problem is about determining whether we or our children are the ones who are primarily responsible for addressing an issue. 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In addition to this urge to rescue, we may also experience time constraints, diminishing patience, worry about how others will perceive the situation, doubts about our children’s capability, and even pushback from our children. It may seem faster to tie our children’s shoes or clean their messy room than to wait for them to do it themselves. We may worry that our children won’t meet expectations with a school project or that teachers, other parents, or extended family members will judge the results if we don’t help. Or maybe we aren’t sure that our children will make the “right” decision or if our children are mature or skilled enough to handle a situation. We may even feel guilty about allowing our children to face the natural consequences of their actions, even though it’s a necessary part of learning. The Value All problems have owners. Being thoughtful about who owns the problem helps create a clear boundary between guiding our children and taking over their challenges, which is crucial for raising independent, confident, and capable individuals. If we take the time to think ahead about specific (and even recurring) situations, we can be prepared to empower our children to take ownership of the challenges they face, rather than automatically intervening. It’s also important to remember that if we regularly take ownership of our children’s problems, we are inadvertently teaching our children that they are not capable. The result? Our children grow more needy and dependent on (and sometimes even more demanding of) adults. If our children own the problem, we can let them handle the problem and provide support as necessary. This is a growth opportunity for us and our children! Steps to Take The next time our children express frustration or emotion in response to a problem they own, we can try a simple, three-step response. Tell them what we see When our children approach us, consider using detective skills to determine what emotion is at play. “It looks like you don’t know what to do right now,” or “It looks like you are disappointed,” or “It looks like you are feeling sad.” This simple first step provides acknowledgment and helps children accept that their feelings are normal and acceptable. For younger children, this also helps them learn to identify different emotions. In addition to validating our children’s feelings, active listening shows empathy and helps us avoid jumping to solutions. For example, if the upset is about an interaction with a friend, we can try saying something like, “That sounds really frustrating. Tell me more about what happened." Ask them what they can do Next, we can act as a coach rather than trying to provide solutions. This requires listening closely to determine the root cause of their problem and helping them come up with a solution (without doing it for them). For example, if facing the “I’m bored” statement, we can ask questions, “What do you think you could do on your own so that you would feel busy?” Even if they respond by saying, “I don’t know,” we can continue to focus on their ability to think through possibilities. Sometimes, even just replying with something like, “make believe you know,” grants them permission to use their imagination. Additional types of questions to have mentally prepared can include: “What do you think you could do to fix this?” “How do you think _____ might react if you explain?” “What’s the first step you could take?” Offer to help if appropriate Once our children have come up with a solution to their problem, we can offer to help without taking over and implementing the solution for them. Sometimes our children might need support with generating ideas. It’s okay to brainstorm together, which is different than trying to come up with solutions for them. If we do offer brainstorming support, it’s important to let our children choose the best course of action. For example, if the problem revolves around forgetting to bring something to school, we can help with some scaffolding, “Let’s think of ways you have remembered to bring your instrument for band. What’s one technique you’ve used before that worked well?” We can also offer support by providing access to tools or resources. For example, if the struggle involves organization, we can offer to provide a calendar or checklist and teach our children how to use this tool rather than organizing their assignments or chores for them. Role-playing can also sometimes help children practice the solution they’ve identified. Ultimately, we want to set clear exceptions by letting our children know what is expected and giving them the responsibility to follow through. Asking what their plan is is a great way to shift the focus to their ability to solve the problem. The best part is that the more often we allow our children to solve their own problems, the more capable they become. Are you curious to learn more about supporting children’s emerging sense of responsibility? Come visit our school!
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